Friday, May 14, 2010

It's Over

I've sort of mentioned it over the past couple of posts but now that it's official I can say it (write it?) out loud.

I lost my job. I cleaned out my desk and it's over.

It's really over. 8 years in the same department, 6 years in the same job. So many good people came and went before me, but I didn't think I would ever leave, and now I'm out. The only company I've ever worked for. I started in a summer job at age 15 and I was faithful to that one company for my entire working years.

Now it's over.

It was the best job I ever had, it was the worst job I ever had. I had the best time. I suffered so much heart-ache.

What do I do now? How do I function?

I can't afford to not work. But I also can't afford to take a position that is too far away from my children. Being away from them for 8 hours a day is enough already- I'm not willing to spend more time away from them in transit to and from a new job.

Unemployment only lasts so long.

I miss my job. I love being home with my children. I'm sad, I'm happy. I'm confused.

I have low self esteem. I am broken now. So much of that job was MINE. Me by myself. So much work and time and sacrafice.

Why do I care? It's over.

And here come the tears.


13 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry - I'm positive things'll work out better than you can imagine. You're in my thoughts!

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  2. Oh I am so sorry :(
    I hope the perfect, even better than the last one job falls right on your lap! I will keep you in my thoughts.

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  3. Sorry to hear! Praying the right opportunity comes your way.

    Leaving my last corporate job was the hardest thing I did and may have seem foolish to some but it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. My job now allows me to make money yet be close to my kids and follow their school schedule. A win, win! I hope you find the same.

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  4. Shelle, I'm so sorry. Even if it's hard to believe it right now, we have to remember that everything happens for a reason. We love you and are here for you!

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  5. I'm so sorry! I know this is a blow to your self-esteem, but believe in yourself and keep an open mind. Maybe that job had to end because there's something so much better that's coming your way. Don't hesitate to grab it when you see it!

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  6. Oh, sweetie! Sending prayers that the perfect solution will come along.

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  7. I had this exact same feeling when I left my job too when I went and had a baby and now 7 months later as I am back to work after having all that time off, I feel broken for being away from my kids. Such is a crazy life. In a year from now you'll have new eyes on this situation. Hang in there!

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  8. Something went wrong with blogger so I don't know if you received my comment or not. I apologize if you get this comment twice.

    Visiting here from SITS...

    Everything happens for a reason. Try to stay positive for your family. The answers will come. Sending many prayers your way.

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  9. Stopping by from SITS.

    I'm really sorry about the job loss. I'm sure there is something better out there for you, maybe even something that will allow you to spend more time at home with your children. Good luck.

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  10. returning the comment...
    that's so sad :( sorry to hear that i hope you find something that will allow you to still be near your kids and not have to spend even more time away from them :(
    hoping to hear good news from you soon

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  11. No, no, you are not the job. The job was made better because of what You offered it and you will make some place else better with what you continue to offer.

    So sorry you are going through this. I know it is tough. Keep your head up. I hope you're feeling better.

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  12. i'm sorry you lost your job. what a bummer. here's to re-defining yourself and enjoying your young. i'm a new follower, stopping by from SITS

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  13. hugs..hugs..and more hugs. I will always treasure the time we spent together at work. You taught me so much and made me feel worthwhile. I so appreciate the patience you showed me, the knowledge you imparted to me, the friendship we enjoyed and the sorrows we shared. You are such a talented, bright young lady. Thank you so much. You will succeed no matter where the Lord takes you.

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Thank you so much for your comments! I appreciate each one!